Eulogy: Bart the Purple Parrot, I mean Pirate

(As always, told by the Ever Lovin' Harold)

Harold: "And so we are gathered at this most sacred of spots by the river, where the river finches swoon with a cry of sorrow and the Harmonian Deer lowers its head in frightened sadness, to cherish and honor this majesty of a man, a man whose might was grand, whose hat was grandeur personified, this man whose led his forces so gallantly was...uh....omm...."

Anna (Sister of Harold): "Bart the Purple Pirate."

Harold: "Wait, I'm doing a Eulogy for him, my dear Fraulein? Why do we only do this for the losers, mademoiselle?"

Anna: "It's your running joke, Harold dear."

Harold: "Oh, Le Sigh. Le sigh indeed. Oh Bart, you were of the Pirate Class, one that is among the most vulgar, most dreaded, most pointless around, you who are the swine of the Waters, one that the Runes themselves spit upon and wish they could ceaselessly end your utterly miserable existence, you who are only a waste on this lovely land and should be hunted down and burned at every pure instant that time itself, you who should never again be allowed to breathe a single molecule of air for every breath you take is one that is more deserving to any and all other such criminals, you who would --"

Anna: "Brother dear, what is with your hatred of the dreaded Pirates?"

Harold: "......................They stole my Rose Brooch once."

Anna: "Oh how dreadful! I'm so glad mine is still around, it gives my life just that much more meaning, you see what I mean oh wondrous brother!"

Harold: "............I know, alas sister, I know, for it burns my heart like a soaring comet. But enough of this, back to the Eulogy. Ah yes.....oh Bart! You with such a monstrous and absolutely foolish name, you hated dragons... and then you were eaten by one..... All right, I'm done for now. Wine time!"

Anna: "It better be a good kind, brother dear!"